I have to say I feel very thankful that I have to go through these things at the age of 19. Some people would say it is a bit too much, yes it is but I realized that I learnt so much to appreciate everyone around me, every single second I can breath :)
These days after exams, I walked around the city and passed so many places that I have never been to or have had memories with. Walking in a flow of people I realized the world is still moving no matter what happens :) People looked busy with their own stuffs, some smiled, some looked sad but all of them were in action :)
I love the feeling of walking home after the shops are closed, just me and a few people who were walking in such a huge street, I felt like I actually had time to have a look at everything around me a bit longer, closer so I can remember them better in my heart :)
I went to Debehams two days ago, I walked to the men section. I could not help but staring at those white tees. I felt the fabric and it was so gentle… I could not help but sang that ‘you look so beautiful in white’ song. I wish I could ever have the chance to see you trying that white tee on. You would have looked so nice like that everytime you were in your white tee. I smiled with my own little secret… my eyes got all wet again… oh dear! I reminded myself, the only thing I need is to see you happy :)
I bought mum a pair of earrings. Mum probably will tell me off for spending money on expensive stuffs but I know no single woman does not want to own a pair of earrings. I never realized mum actually does not have any pairs of earrings since she got me… I myself have loads of earrings but mum never told me off for buying them for me but always told me off for buying anything for her…. I realized how much mum has sacrificed for me… I cried, the only thing I can say now is I am sorry mum, I am sorry that I will not be able to repay all what you have done for me… but I promised till my last breath, I will always be your strong daughter!
I passed Peking restaurant and Thai restaurant yesterday, I looked through their glass windows I felt like I could see us laughing and talking inside like we were so many other times. I felt so warm and happy inside, I never realized that these little memories actually mean a lot to me. :)
I never thought I could be having anything with my health at all till last year. I always thought I were the strongest girl in my peers so I kind of overlooked my health which is something no one should do!
However, after knowing I will have to go through these surgeries soon I realized I am actually going to be stronger than what I thought I were :)
I will be stronger! :)
So yeah, before your surgeries you might just want to walk a bit slower, spend a bit more time on other people and other things around you. So that you would feel happy that you have been living such a lucky life :) Smile and no matter what will happen, you will feel the days you have lived were worth it :)
x
